I am sure someone will write about throwing poverty, hunger, disease, racial injustice and war into a fire. It certainly would be nice to obliterate them. Since I am sure someone will write about these things more eloquently than I could ever do, I will tell you the five things in my life that I would like to see gone.
First of all, I would eliminate dandelions. My dad used to have me dig them up as a kid. I still wage war against these weeds every spring. To me, there is nothing “dandy” about dandelions. I think of them as deadly trespassers. While most women get jewelry for Mother’s Day, my husband got me a new dandelion digger and I was thrilled. I can honestly say, I have almost eradicated the dandelions from my front lawn again this year. Throwing them in a fire would have been wonderful!
Secondly, I would throw broccoli into the fire right behind the dandelions. I hate the taste of broccoli. I know it is good for you and so, I do eat it, but do not enjoy it. George H. W. Bush and I agree on this.
The third thing I would throw into the fire are hats. When I was a child, my mother took me to a hat store in the Latham Circle Mall (yes, they had stores specifically for hats in those days) each year to get a new Easter bonnet. I hate wearing hats. My head is big and hats give me headaches. I was often in trouble for not wearing my nurse’s cap back in the early ‘70s. It must be a family trait, because hats also gave my father headaches. He never wore his sailor’s cap correctly during WW 11 and was given KP duty because of it. Thankfully, Easter hats aren’t the “in” thing like they were back in the ‘50s and ‘60s.
Fourth on my list to eliminate is tuna noodle casserole. My family and especially my granddaughter love it. I never liked its consistency, but more over it reminds me of the vomit our dog Rufus used to produce when he was ill. This is especially true when peas are added. As a nurse, I cleaned up a lot of vomit, but I can’t stomach this casserole.
The fifth and final thing that I would throw into the fire is the movie “The Sound of Music.”
When the hills come alive, I get nauseous and want to die. A wildfire similar to those in California would do a lot to improve those hills, in my estimation. It is my least favorite movie of ALL time.
So, my life would be greatly improved without dandelions, broccoli, hats, tuna noodle casserole and “The Sound of Music”. In conclusion:
“In short, there’s simply not a more convenient spot
For happily ever after in than here in “my” Camelot”