“If you can see life as a learning experience, you can turn any negative into a positive.”
– Neve Campbell.
It was the summer of 1971. I recently started my first job as a registered nurse and was still on orientation. As I got my nurses cap out of the closet before morning report, the head nurse told me that Mr. X in room 713C had died just before change of shift. He needed to be cleaned up because his family was on their way in. She asked me to do this. This was the first time I had to care for a dead person, but this didn’t bother me.
The veteran was in a room formerly with two other patients which were moved to other rooms after his death. I cleaned Mr. X up, changed his sheets and made him look comfortable, like he was sleeping. I thought I did a great job. I told the head nurse to come and see what I had accomplished. When she walked into the room, she exclaimed “What were you thinking?” and walked over to his bed and yanked out the pillow I had placed under his head with a flourish. “That pillow will make his head stay in that position for days because of rigormortis.” She then walked out. She did not call me stupid, but she made me feel stupid.
When the family came in, I accompanied them to the bedside. They started to cry, and so did I. I had never cared for this man before his death and was not emotionally attached to him, but seeing the family so sad also made me sad. I am a crier and cry all the time. It often helps me cope. When I was a kid, I used to cry when a soap commercial with a bride was on TV. My mother always threatened to not let me watch Lassie on Sunday nights because I cried during each episode. In this situation, I think the family was comforted by my tears and possibly helped them cope. However, the head nurse again came into the room and pulled me into the hallway and admonished me for my unprofessional behavior.
I learned something that day. Yes, I now knew not to put a pillow under the head of a dead body. The biggest, most important, thing I learned however was how to treat and mentor employees especially new graduates and ones still on orientation. I learned to explain things and why they were done that way to staff.
Over the next fifty years, I did that. Only once did I ever call an employee into my office and yell at him. He consistently did not follow the rules despite several reminders and was in danger of being fired. It is good to learn from mistakes.
“The rest of the quote is: Worst days give lessons, and best days give memories.”
– Author Unknown