I tried all of my life to love you,
But how that worked I never had a clue.
Attraction comes when trusting you,
And giving out positive cues.
But me, I’m a Hispanic female with body issues, not a go-getter,
Wondering if my looks would ever change for the better
Insecure, lacking self-esteem, and confidence,
Making decisions and suffering consequences.
The more that I know you the less there is to love,
We just don’t fit, I’m like an oversized glove.
The one that I see does not look back tenderly at me,
We are thrown together but struggle to be free.
a single parent still finding my identity.
Awakening from living in a perceived serenity..
Not having faith in my convictions,
Not setting goals, just restrictions.
I am a Puerto Rican by birth,
Since that day in July when I was sent to Earth.
But the USA is my heart, my home, my country of choice.
This is where I searched to find my voice.
I tried to love you in spite of reexamining the things in my life,
Doubting my choices, being in constant strife.
constantly looking back and wondering “what if?”
Instead of focusing more on what is.
Oh how life has a way to rearrange,
Mess with your life and snap…, things change.
It might be better, it might be worse.
Decisions that are blessings or maybe a curse.
And here I am wrinkled, gray haired, and old,
Seventy odd years golden I’ve been told.
Living the hand that I have been dealt,
With family and memories under my belt.
And so dear Lou I am happy to say,
The feelings I have for you cannot be allayed.
Now that I know you and have lived in your skin,
I can say that I love you through thick and thin.